Yesterday was my first Saturday night working the Hooters crowd. Wouldn’t you know it, there were special events going on so it made it even more hectic. UFC was on (which i totally abhor and think is a barbaric sport, if you can even call it that). Also there was $1.99 Bud/Bud Light Drafts, $7.99 pitchers. How and why is this stuck in my brain? because I had to repeat it over and over and over… and I ordered it for customers over and over and over. Before the UFC crowd came in (which was just as rowdy as you would imagine. Most of them fit all stereotypes that came to mind), I was lucky enough to help serve two bachelor parties. Oh the joy of drunk men. It is amazing how even the most polite man can be turned into a perverted boy after a few pints. One of the parties came in from a ‘party bus’ so they already had a few to say the least. A few of the guys looked me up and down whenever I came over, would wink, etc. I am constantly amazed by people- I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere confronts her about the floss claiming that very few people surprise him. To which, Julia Roberts replies, “Well you’re lucky, most of them shock the hell out of me”.
When I realized that I wasn’t going to be getting home til after 2am, that my ‘trainer’ wasn’t going to be sharing any of her $200 tips, that I didn’t give a shit about whether the buffalo chicken sandwich come with baked beans or cole slaw( all I could think of was the guy from 21 shouting “winner winner chicken dinner”), and that $7.15 isn’t nearly enough for the disgusting stuff I was doing- i’d much rather clean diapers at the daycare because at least the children are cute and have an excuse for being gross, I came to conclusion that I hate the person at UPitt who decided I wasn’t academically successful enough of get a TA position. He will be the man, because we all know it was a guy, to whom I am constantly swearing because I gave up so much time, so many opportunities to go out with friends, hell even to make more friends. I guess three straight semesters of a 3.9 weren’t enough. I’m not implying that I am God’s gift to linguistics, but if I am not deserving of some funding, then please impress me with the academic accomplishments of someone who is. Once again, i’ll have to prove myself and be grace under pressure. But rest assured, I will earn myself respect in this academic community, build bridges and never burn them even though they have been drizzled with the gasoline of cold-shoulders, and be the cutest, little hooters girl I can be.
As a side note, my biggest accomplishment of the night was getting my ‘trainer’ (trainer is in quotes because the only thing she demonstrated to me was the ability to be a complete selfish bitch– and that is the nicest way to put it) to give me the menu test by saying I wanted to take it and see what else I needed to study. In actuality, I just wanted the test so I didn’t have to memorize any more stupid shit about cheese and the number of onion rings then I had to. So victors was mine (because she’s STUPID but I won’t go into a rant about that or I won’t make it to work on time)!
3 Comments
August 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Jeeze, sounds like waaay too much shit to take for the amount of money per hour. Don’t worry about telling the place to fuck off — there are lots of other jobs.
August 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm
haha yeah. I am working at abercrombie too. I just finished training at hooters so today is my first real day. Hopefully I make some tips.
August 11, 2008 at 6:23 pm
screw whoever thought you weren’t good enough for the TA position. just breathe..lemme know how the tips go tonight..maybe it isn’t worth it.